124 days.

That’s how long it’s been since I last sat in my chair at my desk in my space, putting my fingers on the keyboard and seeing what came up.

Four months, give or take.

Oh, how my spirit is soaring. To be here. Here, in my quiet nook, with my coffee, tea and water in front of me (I somehow always have three drinks?) embracing a gloriously spacious morning.

It’s magnifique (and yes, I did say that with exactly as bad of a French accent as you imagined).

Something interesting has unfolded for me over the last few years – that pure, unadulterated, life-affirming delight that I used to tap into by traveling…I now get it from being at home. Waking up. Going through the same ol’ rituals and routines day after day after day. Just being. Living my life.

It’s my favorite.

And, when travel made me want to pull my hair out, when four months of living out of a suitcase as a consequence of living in a locked-down country (which is no longer true!) made me miserable, that was the insight I’d return to.

For years and years (and years and years), my favorite thing to do was to ESCAPE my day-to-day life.

Nothing brought me greater joy than to hop on a plane and get away from a life I didn’t want to be living. To have a break from the heavy burden of a misaligned existence.

And now?

Now I love my day-to-day life. I’ve built a life I don’t want to escape from.

Is there any greater gift?!

I want to be careful here not to give myself too much credit. “I’ve built a life I don’t want to escape from” makes it sound like it was a very active and intentional endeavor when really it was an exercise in surrender.

This life I love? It’s a gift. A gift from the Universe, my husband, his company, the higher-ups who offered him a China-based role, Chinese bureaucratic restrictions (no working on a spouse visa)...hundreds and thousands of outside influences. Maybe even a million, who knows.

I had a part in it, sure. I spent years prioritizing healing, clearing the imprints of addiction, depression and chronic dissatisfaction from my system. Then, when the right opportunity presented itself, I was ready.

Man oh man, was I ready.

I’m not exactly sure where this musing is going. There’s some wanting to say, “Hey, loving your life isn’t just a privilege afforded to a lucky few. It’s not something you’re either born with or born without.” I resented being a human on this planet, now I’m tickled pink by it. I’ve seen others undergo a similar transformation.

But really the part that I’m captivated by at the moment is the role of surrender. Of letting go. Of not forcing and pushing and try-try-trying to make the world bend to your will.

Of doing what you can and trusting that the rest will take care of itself.

There’s so much peace in that for me. It’s like a giant exhale. A softening of the shoulders. A permission slip, signed, sealed and delivered, encouraging me to relax.

So relax I will, grateful for whatever forces conspired to make it so that I no longer yearn to escape my life, but instead prefer to live it.

Wishing you a life you love,

Keely

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