One of my dearest friends in the world completely ignored me this morning.

Hardcore ignored me. Complete and total non-acknowledgment.

No eye contact. No smile. No friendly, “Would you like some tea?”

Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Rude, right?

I didn’t even make any disparaging jokes about her mom. I save those for conversations with my brothers.

What I did do, however, is ask her to treat me this way.

“When I come down in the morning,” I said, “Can you just pretend I don’t exist?”

I’m a week into intense globe-trotting, barely unpacking my bag in one place before it’s time to pack up and move on. As a result, I’m feeling a little scattered.

I’m missing my routines. My morning meditating. My daily writing. The blissful time I give myself at the start of each day to land softly, to connect and play before I interact with the world.

However, I also really love coffee. And, since we’re sharing an Airbnb, getting coffee means that I have to pass through the mutual living space.

In normal human etiquette, when someone walks into a shared space, the other humans acknowledge her. It’s friendly and polite and what we’re trained to do.

But I don’t want that. When I’m in my morning space, I’m not yet of this world. I’m floating somewhere else, mulling over whatever came up in my meditation or mentally composing an essay. I am fully and deeply in my own happy bubble.

When others talk to me (or more accurately, talk at me) when I’m in that space, it pulls me out of it. It’s jarring and unwelcome.

Back when I didn’t realize that clear communication was the key to happy relationships, I felt like I had to make a sacrifice. Either I could go without coffee to ensure that I had my blissful uninterrupted time, or I could politely chitter-chatter when I went downstairs to get some, pulling myself out of my cherished morning flow state.

But that’s not the case! As long as I’m willing to open my mouth and tell the people in my life how I want to be treated, there is no sacrifice required.

This friend, the one I flew to London to visit, is the one who taught me that. She’s all about communication and believes that the best relationships require zero sacrifices.

And, by witnessing how she interacts with the people in her world, I learned beautiful new ways to interact with the people in mine.

So, thank you Sneh. Thank you, thank you, thank you. For the lesson and the hardcore non-acknowledgment.

For the rest of you chaps, please know that next time we’re staying together, I’ll be respectfully requesting that you don’t acknowledge my presence in the mornings.

If you have any useful, “Here’s what being treated sacredly looks like to me,” tidbits to pass along to me, please share them. I love to know how my people want to be treated.

Isn’t it beautiful when we’re all allowed to say what we want and find win-win (win-win-win-win-win) solutions?