Bio Breaks

Photo by Angelo Pantazis on Unsplash

Because I have an odd definition of fun (and also because there was something I needed help with), I’m currently doing an EMDR intensive.

The woman leading it is a diamond in the rough (as long as we can use that phrase to mean “a gem of a human” – it’s really astonishing how many words and phrases I confidently use without actually knowing what they mean). She learned EMDR while serving as a trauma therapist in the Army, which basically means that anything I throw at her is a breeze.

Isn’t it so lovely to be in a setting where your problems are a breeze? I used to like when people petted and coddled me, acting as if what I was going through was oh-so-rough. Now I want practitioners who are like, “Oh, that’s your challenge? That’s the therapeutic equivalent of flicking on your windshield wipers to clear a splattered bug. Easy peasy.” 

I find it so much more rewarding to go through the world assuming I’m generally happy, healthy and healed. Things that come up – little specks of dirt that need to be wiped away. Early struggles with addiction and depression meant that I wore the “identified patient” label for most of my twenties and I walked through the world feeling like I was broken.

Then a single twelve-day ayahuasca retreat cleared that belief from my system, never to return again. Broken? Nope. How about the hero of my own story?

Anyway. The reason I started writing about this gem of a helper (thank you, Universe, for being in a position where I’m able to ask for and receive help when I need it) is because of something she does during our sessions.

Once an hour, when we reach a good “we could take a break here” point, she asks if I need a “bio break.”

She doesn’t ask if I need to go to the bathroom. She doesn’t ask if I need to get up and stretch. She keeps it broader than that. “Do you need a bio break? Is there anything your human body needs to feel better in this moment?”

If I want to step outside and feel the sun on my face, that’s a bio break.

If I need to use the loo, that’s a bio break.

If I want to refresh my coffee, tea or water, that’s a bio break.

It’s broad and inclusive. And I love it.

Back when I spent three months in inpatient treatment, trying to break the habit of drinking myself into a stupor every day, there was a pool onsite. And, when our families visited for family week, one of the lead therapists pointed it out.

“You see that pool and volleyball court? I bet it boils some of your blood, huh? Here your son, daughter, parent or spouse is, receiving treatment after driving their life into the ground. I bet their addiction hurt you. I bet you feel frequent rage toward them. And then, here you are, taking a week off to attend family week, and you see a pool and volleyball court. Are they being rewarded for their misdeeds?”

“They’re not,” he continued. “This is a trauma treatment center. We do heavy lifting here. Deep work. You’ve already heard stories from clients who survived horrific abuse. Raped by fathers. Molested by authority figures. Traumatized by medical crises.”

“And let me tell you,” he continued. “If all we did all day was dig, dig, dig without any time for the pool or a volleyball game, none of your loved ones would get well. Not a single one. Healing doesn’t work that way. It can’t be constant pushing, full steam ahead. The human mind and body need time. Space to integrate. An opportunity to shift into rest and digest. It’s an essential ingredient. Without it, nothing else is possible.”

It stuck with me. Eleven years later, I still remember the moment. Because it rang true with the truth-y truth feel that every piece of authentic wisdom carries.

So, when you’re doing deep healing, when there are things you want to work out – maybe take some bio breaks. Maybe give your body what it needs. Maybe remember that you’re a human with biological needs that must be tended to.

Or don’t. It’s your life, not mine.

Thanks to my current helpers and all helpers. Wishing you a Sunday full of giving your precious body whatever it needs,

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