Finding Your Purpose…With a Twist

Photo by Ashley Batz on Unsplash

My brother Thor has a very clear life purpose. He’s meant to use his house-elf-sounding voice to serenade the world as the lead singer of a band.

Ideally my band. I don’t know if everyone saw my hand pan video, but I’m clearly going places musically. 

This life purpose isn’t stressful to Thor. It’s easy-breezy, just like his personality.

However, Liz Gilbert says that this current cultural push to find and live your purpose CAN be stressful to some people.

“Everyone I know suffers tremendously from purpose anxiety,” she said on the Quitted podcast. “From this idea that the whole purpose of your life is to find the unique thing you’re here to contribute, then to become the very best in the world at that thing.”

“Then you’re supposed to go offer your mastered ‘only-I-can-do-this-thing’ purpose to the world as a great gift. You should also, by the way, create a lot of jobs, inspire people and leave the world changed.”

“Just talking about it makes my armpits sweat,” she finished. “Every time I think about that idea, it makes me anxious. It’s also chaotic. If it’s true that each of us is supposed to change the world and that there are almost eight billion of us, no wonder the world feels so crazy.”

Unlike Liz, I don’t have a social circle that’s obsessed with finding and living their life’s purpose. I can’t truthfully say that everyone I know suffers tremendously from purpose anxiety.

Only about 50% of my people do. The other 50% think the “what’s my purpose?” crowd is a little snowflake-y and wants to know if you’ve considered maybe navel-gazing a little less?

Which is interesting, because it gives me a gloriously diverse perspective.

Given my fascination with shamanism and the mystical arts, I tend more toward the “each of us has a purpose” side of the debate. I like to believe that my soul came to Earth for a reason and that there are cup-filling ways to be in strengths-based service. It’s comforting to believe that I can use my life’s energy to both do good and do well. Energizing even.

I like to start my morning writing practice with a ritual and I recently added Charles Eisenstein’s “may I be put to good use” prayer to the mix.

Because I want that: I want to be put to good use AND I insist on doing it in a trickster way. There are, at this very moment, at least ten ways that other people would like me to put my time to “good use” that I’m not doing because I’m not here to suffer.

So, I wanted to share a tidbit that might help balance these two truths: 1) it can feel great to believe that you have a purpose, then to find and live it and 2) it can also cause tremendous stress to go through the world that way…especially if you haven’t yet found your almighty purpose.

The tidbit comes from the Gene Keys and it’s quite simple. According to the Gene Keys, your purpose isn’t something you do. It’s how you go through the world.

It’s about being, not doing.

My purpose, according to my Gene Keys chart, is to embody freedom. I’m here to eradicate fear from my own system and psyche, “turn it into gold,” and then teach others how to do the same by living as an example. My chart is all about inner peace and my purpose captures that.

My mom’s purpose, according to her chart, is to gather her “soul group,” and focus on a few key relationships. To do so, she has to relax and enjoy her life, trusting that the right people will come at the right time and the only thing she has to do to prevent deathbed regrets is to connect deeply with her tribe.

My friend Julie’s purpose, according to her chart, is to make people laugh. She’s here to remind us that life is rich and that simply enjoying our time on Earth may be the noblest purpose of all.

My brother Shrek’s purpose, according to his chart, is to communicate impeccably, but without worrying about what he’s communicating or how he’s doing it, simply by focusing on connecting with others. Which is good, because he’s an ogre and ogres speak in grunt.

I’m “put to good use” when I’m so free that you can’t help but be inspired.

My mom’s put to good use when she’s relaxed, at ease and drawing in her people.

Julie’s put to good use when she’s making us laugh.

Shrek’s put to good use when he’s grunting in ogre-ese, enthusiastically sharing a joy-based way of living.

None of us have to “do” anything to live our purpose. I don’t need to write a bestselling book, my mom doesn’t need to keep a perfectly tended house, Julie doesn’t need to earn millions, Shrek doesn’t need to stop eating M&M’s out of the gutter.

It’s about being, not doing.

And I like that. I like the idea that I can be “put to good use,” that I can contribute to the world in a meaningful way…and that it doesn’t have to be stressful or anxiety-producing or anything other than, “Well, that sounds like a nice way to live. Sure, I’m in.”

Just like an onion contributes something different to a pot of chili than the tomato paste does, we’re all here to add value in a unique way. And maybe, like me, you find it comforting to think that the best contribution you can ever make is your “flavor” of living, rather than any specific action. 

If you want to look up your own purpose, go to genekeys.com and click on “Free Profile.” The purpose blurb is at the bottom of “My Genius.” 

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