&*$@@# Jelly: Musings on Miscommunication

The straw that broke the camel’s back

Funny story: today I had a thousand words worth of musing ready to go on the topic of anger then all of it became unusable when I realized the thing I was angry about didn’t happen.

In the wee morning hours, I found myself enraged when a jar of jelly wouldn’t open. Then I noticed an urge to smash it on the ground (we’ll see who’s sealed shut after that, won’t we, glass jar of jelly??).

Then, as a person not given to indulging temper tantrums, I used my unexpected rage as an opportunity to “write into the light” (AKA use writing as a tool to figure out WTH was going on).

I observed all sorts of interesting things, like why I felt so angry (an oft-communicated boundary being crossed) and what I’ve learned about working with anger (the key: move it through your body so it doesn’t get stuck).

Then, after writing, writing, writing away, I got to my conclusion. And I realized that I had no idea if the thing I was angry about actually happened.

All I really knew was that I had a swirling maelstrom of thoughts and feelings disrupting my inner peace and that the inner turmoil was a result of a story I was telling myself (shout out to Michelle Herr for teaching me the phrase, “The story I’m making up is…”).

So, accepting that truth—that all I actually knew was what was going on in my reality, I initiated a conversation.

I leaned into my Sneh-given communication skills and said, “Hey, I’m really in a tizzy about this thing that happened and I’d like to talk about it.”

By “I’d like to talk about it,” I obviously mean that I had Sam read my morning musings to see if what I thought happened actually happened.

Turns out it didn’t.

I thought a “my writing time is sacred” boundary was being violated and felt disrespected.

Sam thought that he was asking me an innocent question to clarify where my boundary lies.

So, basically, I was angry about my husband trying to understand me better.

Which is pretty much all that I want in life: to be understood (also cherished. And to live in a perpetual state of peace and joy. And…well, maybe I’m not the right person to start a sentence by saying, “pretty much all I want in life…” because I’m an abundance mindset sorta gal).

So, anyway, those thousand words will be tucked away in the, “Wow, writing really helped me” file instead of being published.

Isn’t inner excavation so interesting?

Communication too?!

And life! Isn’t LIFE itself simply fascinating?

Oh, the human experience. What a ride.

Thanks, hubby, for sticking it out while I work my way through the toddler stage of verbal communication (it’s not a skill I came into adulthood with). Thanks for all the years that you advocated for communicating, urging me to talk things out instead of suppressing and avoiding sticky subjects.

Thanks, Sneh, for wowing me with your verbal communication skills and letting me learn by observing.

And thanks, Michelle, for teaching me to wonder if the story I’m telling myself is just that…a story.

It really does take a village, huh?

Sending love and my wishes that we all learn how to communicate impeccably,