Orchids Need Orchids

If you’ve been reading along for a while, do you remember the dandelion and orchid piece I posted in December?

It’s probably the most popular piece I’ve ever written, based on engagement. It was a topic that sparked people’s interest and started conversations.

Which thrills me, because it’s something worth talking about. 

I just got back from an ayahuasca retreat in Ecuador and the topic is currently top of mind for me.

I’m still in the settling-in period that comes from going on a retreat and then flying across the world (I landed in China at 5:00 AM yesterday morning), so I don’t know that I can fully articulate what I want to say, but here’s my attempt…

If you feel like you might be an orchid, if you read the December musing and think, “I feel more like Jodi and Keely than Michael and Sam,” …

Then here’s something that I consider to be essential:

Please (please, please, please) find a way to spend time with other orchids.

Please find a way to discuss your challenges and your triumphs with people who get it. People who know what it’s like to be sensitive to your environment. People who know what it’s like to have conditional well-being (you’re well when the conditions are right), not all-but-guaranteed well-being (you’re basically well no matter what).

Because if you don’t, if you spend all of your time with people who are built to be healthy, happy and satisfied no matter what their environment…

You’re probably going to spend a lot of time feeling broken.

But you’re not broken. You are someone who has an incredible capacity for health, happiness and satisfaction…you just need to pursue it in ways that are a bit different than others. Ways that are a bit different than society suggests.

I’m writing about it this morning because of the way a new friend’s face lit up when I told him about the dandelion and orchid theory. He’s someone who’s struggled with addiction and depression and met some challenges that not everyone faces.

And when we talked about the dandelion orchid hypothesis, I watched as a weight came off his shoulders. As he contemplated that perhaps there had never been anything wrong with him, that he was simply missing an essential piece of information.

If you are an orchid, you need to know that you will only thrive in certain environments, just like plant orchids will only survive in certain environments.

If you’re surrounded by dandelions who can thrive in basically any environment and you spend your days assuming you’re fatally flawed because you’re not that way…it’s going to be a rough ride.

Dandelions are built one way.

Orchids are built another.

Neither way is right, neither way is wrong. 

But boy oh boy does knowing matter. 

Wishing you a lifetime of the right wisdom coming your way at the right time,

Keely