A Less Vibrant Season (and that's okay)
I understand that this may sound a little dramatic, but…
I feel less alive when I’m not writing.
Like there’s less vibrance in my world. Less vitality. Less beautiful, beautiful high-frequency life force energy.
Is it like that for you?
Do you grieve a little bit when you’re not publishing two-page essays about your belly button on a daily-ish basis?
Probably. Who wouldn’t?
But here I find myself.
Inconsistently writing. Disconnected from that oh-so-sustaining sense of vitality I gain from my creative practices.
And do you know what’s different from two years ago?
I’m not worried that I’m going to die with deathbed regrets.
(Did you see that one coming?)
Back before I made publishing a regular habit (I’m on musing #223!), I fretted about never getting to this writing thing. About pushing it off year after year, only to reach my golden years and wonder, “What if?”
The most common deathbed regret is, “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
Are you living a life that’s true to you? (I don’t know where all these questions are coming from – my writing style tends to change a bit when I’m just getting back to writing.)
But here’s the thing, lads and lassies: taking action soothed that fear.
By taking action, by honoring what was important to me – even when it wasn’t perfect, even when I felt nervous or embarrassed or unsure – something inside of me shifted.
It unclenched.
These days, I’m a more relaxed version of myself.
I trust the creative process.
I trust seasons.
I trust prolific periods. And I also trust the drought-like periods.
Last week, I had an incredible astrology reading where the astrologer introduced me to annual profections.
And do you know what I learned? I’m in a 12th house year (so are you if you’re 23, 35, 47, 59, 71, 83, or 95).
This year is an incubation year. A rest year.
In 12th house years, we do deep inner work. We release things that we’ve been holding onto for too long. We hang out with our ghosts and shadows.
We hermit.
And then we emerge lighter. Freer. More vibrant, vital, and alive.
On our next birthday (November 24th for me), we roll over to a 1st house year. New beginnings. Growth. Identity.
Seasons are real, friends. They’re real in nature. And they’re real in humans.
Doesn’t it seem easier to allow them than to fight them?
Keely
P.S. If you want to learn about themes for the year ahead based on your astrology chart, the astrologer who did my reading is great: https://starsignstyle.com/readings/.
Morning Musings is a delight-first writing practice where I wake up, put my fingers on the keyboard and “learn in public” (credit: Liz Gilbert). The delightful humans who read these musings tend to see them as an invitation to slow down, have a virtual cup of coffee together, and contemplate the human experience. If you’d like to join our tribe, subscribe here.
