A State of Keely-ness

My Mom gave me the best compliment last night. “We all want to live in a state of Keely-ness,” she said.

A state of Keely-ness.

My apologies in advance to Sam for how miserable that phrase is going to make his life. The only thing that’s worse is when my writing gets curated in the humor section and he gets to hear about how funny I am.

But really–what a compliment. My Mom wants to live “in a state of Keely-ness” and she thinks other people do too.

The phrase came up when she was on a call with my cherished Sneh, doing a coaching session to figure out what comes next in her life. My mom has spent decades in giving and caretaking roles and she’s ready for a change.

Props to her, huh? Double props for not just wanting it, but DOING something about it. First, she did shamanic sessions with me, then she started coaching sessions with Sneh. Intent AND aligned action – it’s a beautiful thing.

As she and Sneh dug into what my mom wants next, the “state of Keely-ness” idea came up. And, while my mom and Sneh are going to have to give me context on what that means to them, I think I get it.

I have an enviable degree of inner peace. I go through life believing things will work out and they invariably do.

It’s a soft way to live. A gentle way. An enchanting way.

And, according to my Human Design and Gene Keys charts, I was built to live this way. My chart basically boils down to, “Relax, surrender and trust.” It says things like, “If you find yourself meeting resistance in life, it is because you have forgotten to take the easy way. Pushing will not really work for you.”

Pretty lucky, huh? My chart on how to human says, “Take the easy way.”

Why thank you chart, I think I will.

But the thing that can be a smidgen complicated is that the way that I live is SO contrary to how our society says to live. At least for people who have jobs and careers and stuff.

A few years ago, I ran a business. I built it from the ground up with the support of some amazing people.

They signed on to help because they found me inspirational. When my board president would introduce me to potential funders or partners, he’d always say, “This is Keely, our spiritual leader.” Another board member petitioned for my title to be, “Chief Inspiration Officer.”

And those titles fit me…when I lived in a state of Keely-ness.

But the realities of running a business pulled me out of a state of Keely-ness. All of the pushing, forcing, hustling, do-do-do-ing – it cost me my inner peace. I wasn’t a spiritual leader. I certainly wasn’t inspirational. I was drained, depleted and resentful.

At the time, I hadn’t yet learned how to communicate what I’m saying now. I didn’t know how to say, “Hey, for me to be the version of myself that you signed up to work with, certain things need to be true.”

Instead, I caved to the pressure of running a business the stereotypical way, which generally includes burning the candle at both ends. And it was sad. It was hard for me to live that way and it was hard for others to watch me do so. To see this human who radiated peace, joy and delight become a human who radiated exhaustion, disillusionment and bitterness…it’s rough.

I’m writing about it because I’m currently feeling some pressure (hopefully self-inflicted) to step into a role like that. To “be a good team player” by rolling up my sleeves and making sacrifices.

And…I already know how that story ends. So I need to remember that my path in life is to soften. To surrender. To trust.

To take the easy way (thank you Universe).

When I do that, I live in a “state of Keely-ness.” Beautiful things unfold because I’m living in alignment. I’m honoring the way I was built.

For my mom to live in a “state of Beth-ness,” she’s going to go through the same journey. She’s going to get crystal clear on what living in alignment looks like for her, then she’ll practice living that way.

Sometimes she’ll revert to old behaviors and get pulled off the path. But then Sneh or I will notice and say, “Hey lady, you’re not here to please anyone else. Do what’s right for you, live in the most authentic way possible, and the rest will work out.”

According to the spiritual teachers I follow, this is the “great leap forward” coming for all of humanity. We have reached a time where progress depends on each of us getting crystal clear about what’s actually true for us. Not what society wants to be true, not what our culture says “should” be true. But what’s actually true.

Then following that roadmap. Trusting that we were built exactly how we needed to be built to live our purpose. Then going out and actually living that purpose. Contributing in an aligned way, one that fills our cup instead of depletes us.

And maybe they’re wrong. Maybe my spiritual teachers have spent too much time smoking the peace pipe and this is all just mumbo jumbo. But I can tell you that I feel an overwhelming sense of peace living this way. Joy, gratitude, delight and awe, as well. And vitality. I have SO much more energy doing life this way than the other way.

So, I’m going to stick with it. I hope my mom will too.

Sending love and my hopes for a day filled with joy, gratitude, delight and awe,