How to Torture a Mechanic

Photo by averie woodard on Unsplash

“And then when I turn the wheel, it makes a bit of a squeaky sound, kind of like…”

The mechanic holds up his hand, cutting me off before I begin replicating the sound. He’s heard enough screeching already and the last thing he wants is for me to imitate the squeak. What he wants is to pop the hood and look around.

The sounds I’m making – they’re not helpful to him.

By continuing to talk, I’m wasting his time. He has all the information he needs to begin solving my problem and all I’m doing by providing more details is making him want to retire.

But getting his hands on my car is different. He enjoys that. He’s trained in it. And he’s good at it. And, if I would just shut up, he could get on with it.

This mechanic analogy is the best one I’ve come up with for why I love offering shamanic sessions.

My friend Sneh is currently enrolled in a coaching training program and she’s changing my mom’s life one sixty-minute conversation at a time. I’m sending 17 other people her way because she’s incredibly good at what she does.

Sneh is a natural-born coach. She’s also a woman who loves talking.

We once lived on a tiny island together and Sneh delighted in the meandering twenty-minute conversations that happened EVERYWHERE. “I just love that I go buy fruit and spend a delightful twenty minutes chatting with Chantima,” she once said. “Then I stop at the bike store and talk to the owner for half an hour. Then I go get my lunch and joyfully chat with Dalit for twenty minutes before I place my order. It reminds me of home.” (Sneh grew up in Nepal.)

I looked at her, horrified, and said, “Sneh, I’m LEAVING this island because of that. I can’t handle it.”

Everywhere–chatting. Chatting here, chatting there, chatting, chatting everywhere.

I found it excruciating. I’m a woman who loves silence. Long, uninterrupted stretches of it. There are memes that say, “I just need eight to twelve hours of alone time in the morning” and I’m who they were written about.

That’s why I love shamanic sessions. When someone comes to me for help, we talk for five to ten minutes so that you can tell me your intention and I can tell you what to expect…then we both get quiet.

I don’t need hundreds or thousands of words. I don’t need you to try to imitate the squeak that your car is making. I need to get under the hood and see what’s going on. That’s what I’m trained to do and that’s what I’m good at.

Then, and only then, will I come back with words.

One of my regular clients struggles with addiction and, after thirty minutes of working in silence, I came back and told her the root cause of her ailment.

Another client struggled with chronic depression (note the past tense–he doesn’t anymore) and, in silence, we resolved his issue.

Words matter. Communication matters. There are absolutely times when humans need to talk things out to make progress.

But there are also times when we don’t need words. When talking makes things more confusing. When the best approach is to let a trained expert get under the hood and report back to you.

I think it’s helpful to know which way works best for you (and acknowledging that it may change situation-to-situation).

Personally, I love non-verbal solutions. I’ve done talk therapy and it’s helped. It’s absolutely helped. Yet, I prefer energy work. Somatic work. Things that get me out of my head and into my body.

And I know that’s not true for everyone. My mom’s Human Design chart says that she has “Sounding Board intuition.” That means that she gets clarity on things when she discusses them with other people. She needs to hear herself voice her full range of thoughts to make a good decision.

That’s why I suggested she begin working with Sneh. I could shamanic session her until I was blue in the face and she’d probably feel great…but she wouldn’t have clarity on which actions to take.

The reason I’m harping on and on about this is because each of us DESERVES the chance to learn what works best for the unique bundle of nature and nurture called “our-name.”

Sometimes, humans are built like me. They like silence and energy work and heal that way.

Sometimes, humans are built like my mom and Sneh. They like talking and human connection and heal that way.

Knowing which way you’re built–that’s helpful. So, so helpful. Because, while there isn’t a right way or a wrong way to human, there ARE things that work for you and things that don’t.

If you want help doing some detective work, I have openings for Human Design readings in October and I’ll be in the US with availability for shamanic sessions in November and December.

If you really want the ol’ one-two punch, I suggest some energy work sessions with me to help you feel the way you want to feel, followed by coaching sessions with Sneh to help you make changes that stick. 

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