Details (Barf)

I am not a details person. Or maybe it’s that I’m not a logistics person? I don’t know. That’s a detail I can’t be bothered with.

I once missed a connecting flight because I didn’t bother to see what time my flight took off. I strolled around the airport, looking for a dinner that would strike my fancy, only to realize that I was three bites into a veggie burger when my flight took off.

It wasn’t my first time flying, folks. I had only done it—oh, I don’t know—a hundred times before?

The airline was very confused when I asked to be put on a new flight. “Your flight landed in plenty of time for you to make your connection, miss,” they said, looking befuddled.

“Well, yeah,” I responded, “But…”

They gave me a new flight, bless their hearts (I mean that in the not-Southern way; I actually feel grateful for them).

For my birthday this year, Sam gave me a book called, “Dream First, Details Later,” which filled my heart with joy.

“You do things the wrong way,” he said, kissing my forehead. “But I love and fully accept you.”

“I do want to reiterate that your way is wrong, though. You didn’t miss that point, right?”

Oh, what he wouldn’t give to have a magic “fix my wife” wand.

I don’t think he’d actually wave it though…even if he’d be sorely tempted on a daily basis.

Sometimes I laugh thinking about what my friends’ husbands would do if there were a wife swap. Okay, it’s really only about one friend. Christina, can you imagine what AJ would do if he had to tolerate me for even ONE day? I think it might kill him.

(In a not-funny but kind-of funny story that I am legitimately unhappy about, I offered to take care of dinner for Christina’s four kids this week because she’s sick…then forgot to check my phone for two hours and missed her response until it was too late to make it happen. I so badly want to be a thoughtful friend. And I try. But then I get absorbed in something and completely forget to check my phone.)

I don’t want to be this way. Life would be easier for everyone if I weren’t. But here I am…this way.

I could follow the boring SOP and hate myself for it, letting self-loathing motivate me to do better.

Or I could shrug. I’m good at some things. I’m very bad at others.

What delights me is when people know and accept me. Like my friend Erin.

As soon as she read the “who wants to do a ‘how to human’ book club?!’ musing, she sent me a text.

“I’m 1000% in,” her paraphrased message said (if you send me a note, there’s a very real possibility I’m translating it into THIS-SOUNDS-SO-GREAT-ese).

“Do you need any help with the details? I can compile emails, send reminders…whatever would help. Just let me know!”

In that moment, she became my favorite person on Earth (sorry Sam—you’ll be my favorite again many other times throughout the day).

Erin and I have worked together and she knows me. She knows my strengths. She knows my weaknesses. Likewise, she knows her own strengths and weaknesses.

She knew (as I readily admitted) that there was only a 50/50 chance the book club would actually happen if I were the one to handle the logistics. So she stepped in. Generously and wisely.

And I gratefully accepted.

Two things here:

Your Human Design chart can help you understand quirks like this (my chart: I’m a starter, not a finisher. Erin’s: she’s great at seeing things through)
We’re meant to live in tribes and operate on teams

You’re not supposed to be good at everything. No human is. We’re meant to have people around us who complement our strengths. And, to connect with those people, we have to get to know ourselves…then tell the truth about what we find, even if it doesn’t reflect well upon us (I felt HORRIBLE about the dinner thing).

“Okay, so I suck at this and you suck less at that, and I’m good at this but you’re only so-so and you’re SO GOOD at this thing? Let’s make this work.”

It’s why, in the Human Design model, Projectors are meant to be CEOs. They’re the people who see these things and assign the right people to the right roles. “This lights you up, Generator, so you go do that. This is a great use of your talents, Manifesting Generator, so you go over there. Fellow Projector, you’ll thrive here. Manifestor here, Reflector there and we’ve got ourselves sorted.”

If you want a Human Design reading, let me know. If you want to join the book club…tell me, then I’ll hand you right on over to Erin.