An Experiment in Acceptance
Hi friends,
If we’re the kind of friends who catch up at least once a year, then you might remember that I was OBSESSED with shamanic energy medicine in 2021.
You may also remember that I was OBSESSED with writing in 2022 (we don’t have to be particularly close for you to know that. I did, after all, publish a one- to two-page essay on the Internet most days).
Well, it’s now 2023 and I have a new thing: Human Design and, more recently, the Gene Keys.
Funnily enough, Human Design says that this is exactly how I am built to operate: jumping from one thing to the next, following sparks of curiosity with no expectation of it becoming “THE” thing. You know – the thing I finally stick with.
Manifesting Generators (my type…along with 32% of the population) aren’t meant to find ONE thing and stick with it. We’re built to operate like nectar-spreading pollinators. Hummingbirds, if you will (thanks, hubby). We sip from this fascinating subject, then carry it with us to the next fascinating subject, before moving on to the NEXT fascinating subject (looking at you, Phillip Jackson).
That’s how we contribute. We cross-pollinate. We write a book about sneakers before we become obsessed with archetypes, bringing tremendous energy and vitality to each subject that captures our interest…fully surrendering to the need to move on when the spark fades away.
I didn’t know that when I was running a business and it’s part of the reason why I burned out. For Manifesting Generators, it’s natural to get things off the ground way faster than any other type could (Manifestors excluded as they are also “get this thing off the ground” speed demons)...then move on to the next thing.
Nectar-spreading pollinators.
But, with this particular turn of interests, I’ve been grieving. I LOVE writing. Love, love, love, LOVE writing.
So when the spark faded, I was upset. I want to write every day for the rest of my life. I want that reliable access to flow state. I want this oh-so-fulfilling way to connect.
Therefore, I was very tempted to apply force. To try to discipline myself into submission. To write, write, write even if the spark wasn’t there, hoping that consistent action would lead to getting back what I lost.
But (and this is a big but) – my Human Design and Gene Keys charts says this is the EXACT opposite approach I should take…if I want a life filled with ease and flow, that is.
Human Design says that Generators and Manifesting Generators find ease and flow ONLY when they do the things that light them up. If the spark isn’t there, wait. Wait, wait, wait. (I’m going to add the important caveat that any Human Design reader worth a grain of salt will remind you that Human Design is meant to be an EXPERIMENT. It’s a hypothesis. You don’t accept a Human Design reading as the stone-cold truth. You hear what your chart says then you test it out for yourself.)
Likewise, my Gene Keys chart says that my biggest “shadow” tendency is forcing. Trying to force things to happen on my timeline instead of trusting in the unfolding.
Interestingly, Gene Keys says that each of us has a shadow tendency that’s most likely to prevent us from finding the role in life that will bring us the most fulfillment.
Mine is forcing.
My brother’s is expectations (pre-meditated resentments, in recovery speak).
Yours is whatever shadow is listed in your Life’s Work sphere (I’m happy to tell you what yours is if you know your birth date, location and time – my obsession means I have a Kindle library full of Gene Keys books).
But anyway – this experiment. Instead of forcing, which I was sorely tempted to do, I surrendered. I wanted to see what would happen if I didn’t force anything, if I just paid attention to what authentically lit me up and did that.
Therefore, I’ve spent a lot of time over the last few weeks using my writing time for other things (like diving into Human Design and the Gene Keys, for instance).
Then guess what happened? I got the result I hoped for (but didn’t force): the writing spark came back. And so now you get this weird “I don’t even know what these words mean and wtf is Human Design or the Gene Keys?!” musing from a “mmm, writing feels the way it used to!!!!!!!” happy Keely.
I hope it comes across in as playful of a tone as I wrote it. Because I’ve been grinning with every sentence.
Wishing you reliable access to ease and flow – and, if you want the blurb on “the pattern in your nature that prevents you from finding the kind of role that perfectly suits you,” LMK,
Keely
