Hopes & Dreams

Photo by Daniel Gonzalez on Unsplash

I want to write the next Harry Potter. Except on the days when it seems easier to try to write the next Fifty Shades of Gray (“She made how much writing those? Let me just open up this blank document here.”)

Then there are the days when I want to write both. I’ll need a pen name, I assume. You can’t be both a cherished children’s author and a purveyor of smutty scenes, right? Or can you?

Other days I want to lead retreats. Or facilitate psychedelic sessions. Or be a corporate well-being consultant. Or travel the globe speaking about holistic wellness.

Except maybe I want to stay living a life of leisure and never work again?

Some days success includes bringing in major moolah. Other days, that doesn’t matter in the slightest.

Then there are kids. We want them and the shamans have shown us that they’re coming. Which of these paths is best for mother-ing and family-ing the way I want to?

Decisions, decisions.

Now, when it comes to outcome, I’ve fully surrendered. I know that I can’t control the outcome of any path, that I can’t guarantee that I’ll reach any goals I set. (At least not until I learn more about manifesting, that is ::cheeky grin::)

But having a direction matters, right? Knowing what I want–that helps me to take aligned action.

A day in the life of the next Harry-Potter-writer looks rather different than a day in the life of a soon-to-be-psychedelic-retreat-facilitator, after all.

Fortunately, I don’t get my knickers in a twist about any of this. Do you know why?

Because life has shown me that my state of being matters a hundred thousand times more than any actions I take.

A few years ago, before crawling into bed, I looked at the hubbalicious and said, “You know, if this is where I stay for the rest of my life, I’m content.”

I didn’t mean physically. I have far too much energy and curiosity to be content staying in one place for the rest of my life.

I meant emotionally. Mentally. Spiritually.

If I never accomplish massive feats, if I never go on to achieve any of my shoot-for-the-moon dreams–I’ll be fine. I won’t lie on my death bed full of regret and remorse, contemplating, “What if?”

Why? Because I’m happy with what I’ve already accomplished.

See, my life used to suckkkkkkkkkkk. I was miserable for a long time. Then, while my peers were building their careers and achieving worldly success, I focused on finding a path out of my misery.

And I did. I haven’t yet earned a lot of money or been lauded as a success based on conventional metrics, but I met my own definition of success—based on, you guessed it—state of being.

These days, I’m so grateful on a daily basis to simply feel good–to have energy, vitality, joie de vivre–that the rest doesn’t matter.

So, while I have big hopes and dreams and lofty aspirations, it’s whatever. Because what actually matters is that I do the things I need to do on a daily basis to stay well.

That’s it. Full stop.

The rest? It’ll sort itself out.

And why am I pondering this topic? Because Wolfgang, the brother who has even stronger opinions than I do on the topic of hobby/job/career/vocation, asked me what my goal was for my morning musings. And I stuttered while answering. I couldn’t articulate my vision. Probably because the truth is: I’m not sure. It’s up in the air.

I write every day because I like how that makes me feel. Do I hope it will open doors to future success? Of course. I’m a dreamer.

But, for me, starting with how I want to feel matters most. Then I surrender and trust the unfolding. When I write, I fill my cup. Keely with a full cup can do way more on any path than Keely with an empty cup.

And, if you’re into astrology, I want to share a tidbit: Human Design can help you understand how to set goals that work for you (what works for me won’t necessarily work for you, just like what works for you may not work for me):

• I have a defined heart/ego center which means that I’m intensely motivated by big, lofty goals and I can rely on consistent motivation when I’m pursuing them. Smaller goals don’t work as well for me. If you have an undefined heart/ego center (70% of the population), what works for you will be different.

• Your top right arrow tells you whether you need a strategy to get where you’re going or if you’re better off just making it up as you go (if your top right arrow points left: have a strategy; if it points right, like mine: wing it).

• Finally, your bottom right arrow tells you whether to be specific (arrow points left) or non-specific (arrow points right) when trying to manifest. If your bottom right arrow points left, get down to the nitty-gritty (I want to call in a house with a blue door, a room to store all my bug wings…); if it points right, keep it broad (here’s how I want to feel in my home).

If you don’t already have one, you can get your Human Design chart for free online. I’m currently partial to this site.