May You Be Unpopular This Week
One of my favorite things about my friendship with my beloved Sneh is this:
Thanks to the deep bond we share, I understand how many of my preferences are just that: preferences.
There are things that I love that drive Sneh batty.
There are things that Sneh loves that drive me batty.
And neither of us is right.
My preferences aren’t superior to hers; her preferences aren’t superior to mine.
Except for my insistence on quiet mornings. I’m right about that one and everyone who prefers something different is wrong, wrong, wrong.
WRONG!
And this week, I had a delightful opportunity to remember how many of my preferences are just that: preferences. I’m in Chiang Mai and I’m taking advantage of Thailand prices to move my body in nourishing ways every day. Pilates, Qigong, yoga, you name it: if they offer it, I’m giving it a go.
In Hong Kong, they prefer for pregnant women not to join group exercise classes and private lessons are prohibitively expensive, so I’ve been movement-frustrated.
But here? The world is my oyster.
So on Tuesday, when I went to a $28 private Pilates lesson with an instructor who specializes in prenatal Pilates (thanks Thailand!), I was delighted. Like, one of the best lessons I’ve ever had delighted.
Our lesson was scheduled at 7:00 PM. We started exactly on time. She had me moving my body the entire 50-minute lesson. There was no polite chitter chatter. No sitting around while we made small talk. 50 intense, powerful, perfect moments. Then she said, “See ya later.”
I know nothing about this woman. She knows nothing about me. We didn’t form a soul-level friendship during our first 50 minutes together. But we had a 10 out of 10 perfect Pilates lesson.
Then the next morning, when I went to a Qigong class, I had the opposite experience. The friendly, kind, warm and welcoming instructor wanted to start out by getting to know each other. By having a bit of a chat. By seeing what we could learn from each other.
Thirty minutes in, I still hadn’t moved my body and my head was close to exploding.
And this man – he’s one of the kindest souls I’ve ever encountered. A true gem of a human. If we had tea together, I’d probably be enthralled. But I don’t sign up for movement classes to talk.
Frankly, I think the world is too noisy already. When I’m exercising, I want glorious, glorious silence.
And here’s the thing: Sneh would have most likely hated my ultra-efficient Pilates lesson and loved my oh-so-warm Qigong lesson.
Me? The exact opposite.
And, because I’m a one-on-one service provider, I think reminders like this are so powerful. What makes one provider a great fit for Sneh might make her a horrible fit for me. And vice versa. One’s not better or worse. Different people just have different preferences.
I’m not meant to appeal to everyone. Neither is Sneh. Neither are you.
So my wish for us this week, dear reader, is that we are so beautifully ourselves that we find someone who doesn’t like us.
Because when we’re palatable to every single bloody human on the planet, chances are that we’re being a watered-down, weak-sauce version of ourselves. And who’s got time for that?!
Xo,
Your friend who probably wants you to talk to her less. But don’t worry – I’ll tell you. Not too many meek bones in this here body.
P.S. Nenad and Rhonda - none of this “quiet while working out” mumbo jumbo applies to you. Since I hate lifting weights, chatting instead of weight training is always welcome. Especially if you get so distracted that you forget to make me do squats.
Morning Musings is a delight-first writing practice where I wake up, put my fingers on the keyboard and “learn in public” (credit: Liz Gilbert). The delightful humans who read these musings tend to see them as an invitation to slow down, have a virtual cup of coffee together, and contemplate the human experience. If you’d like to join our tribe, subscribe here: https://keelyc.substack.com/
