Relational Fitness, Ina’s Social Genius and How to Thrive as a Projector
Earlier today, I read the most fascinating article. It said that a major emerging wellness trend for 2023 is “relational fitness.”
Relational fitness. That means paying someone to help you connect more deeply with others, the same way you pay a personal trainer to help you become more physically fit.
It’s not surprising, is it? There was already a massive loneliness epidemic, then we went through a global pandemic where people were forced to separate.
There’s all that stuff about the Harvard research showing that social connectedness is the single biggest determinant of long-term wellness.
There’s the simple fact that we’re tribal animals.
And there’s the “yikes, we accidentally made a society that’s massively disconnected and we need to do something about it.”
So now there’s relational fitness. A fascination with the “science of connection.” A willingness to pull out our wallets and pay for someone to help us in this arena.
I, for one, am thrilled. This is an area I could use help with, so I’m all for the world shining a spotlight on it. Let’s focus on this. Let’s (re)learn how to connect.
The part that fascinated me most has to do with my friend Ina. After yesterday’s musing about the power of Human Design, Ina commented that she was going to figure her chart out. I already know that she’s a Projector (one of the five Human Design Energy Types) and here’s why that’s captivating.
When I’m in Ina’s presence, I all but beg her to teach me how to be “relationally fit” (even before I knew that was what it was called). “Teach me, Ina,” I say, sitting on the ground in front of her like an acolyte in the presence of her guru. “Teach me what you know so I can have relationships like yours.”
Ina is a social genius (which seems to be a phrase I’m throwing around lately, but it’s very accurate in both cases).
Ina doesn’t need anyone to teach her relational fitness. Ina is the person who ought to be TEACHING relational fitness.
Ina’s connection to her people – it’s on a whole other level. She’s so (SO) very good at relationships. Cultivating them. Nurturing them. Celebrating them.
And Projectors? This Human Design type is all about deeply “getting” a specific part of the human experience. Seeing something more clearly than the rest of us. Having an area where you’re effortlessly a genius.
But here’s the catch. For a Projector to live in flow, they have to learn that should focus sharing their insights and wisdom EXCLUSIVELY with people who opt in to hear it.
Me? Acolyte Keely sitting at Ina’s knee begging her to teach me what she knows? That’s what’s known as an “invitation” in the Human Design world. It’s what a Projector is meant to look for. When a Projector responds to invitations, when they share their clear seeing with someone who ASKS them to share, it’s met with so much appreciation.
But when they share their clear seeing with someone who DOESN’T ask for it – struggle bus. Absolute path to meeting resistance in life. Because that person will feel criticized. Bossed around. Bitter. They didn’t ask for you to turn your laser focus on them. It’s not welcome. That’s called unsolicited advice and it’s all but guaranteed to push people away.
So Projectors who want to live in flow wait for the invitation. They make their expertise known (and the zone of genius will vary Projector to Projector - being a Projector doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to be a social genius. It means you’re guaranteed to have a zone of genius, an area where you can see things much more clearly than the rest of us).
Then they trust that the people who want to hear what they have to say will appear.
Proactively sharing their zone of genius WITHOUT ever targeting their seeing at someone who hasn’t invited them to share their perspective. Then surrendering. Trusting.
Relaxing.
Ease and flow. That’s what the Human Design system is all about.
Wishing that for you. As well as “relational fitness” and friends like Ina,
Keely
