Urgency
Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash
I am a manifesting generator, which means I move at a speed that can make other people dizzy.
Want to figure out a mind-blowingly efficient way to do something? I’m your gal. I can look at an eleven-step process, tell you that steps two through nine don’t actually matter, and hand you back something that can be done in a quarter of the time.
I’m quick.
And yet, as quick as I am, I hate urgency.
I don’t like feeling like something has to be done immediately.
Are there times when things DO need to be done immediately? Of course. Two of my brothers are firefighters and one is a doctor. Ya best believe that there are times when they need to kick it into gear, when acting urgently can be the difference between life and death.
But for me? There really aren’t many TRULY urgent situations I encounter.
Are there situations that other people think are urgent? Yes, of course. There are even situations that I think are urgent.
But, when I step back, I usually see a simple truth: most things that feel urgent are either 1) not actually or 2) important things that got neglected for too long and now we feel pressure to race to make up for it.
I’m in two situations at the moment where people I love, trust, respect and admire feel a sense of urgency that I just don’t feel. What feels true for them doesn’t feel true for me. And it’s painful. That’s what my meltdown on Wednesday was about.
And, while I don’t yet have an answer or a solution, it feels helpful to me to acknowledge that truth.
I’m in a painful situation because something that feels true for me doesn’t feel true for the people I love. They’re in a painful situation because something that feels true for them doesn’t feel true for me.
There’s a friction point.
I might be right. I might not be.
They might be right. They might not be.
Chances are good, however, that there is no “right” and there is no “wrong.” There are simply preferences and learning how to navigate them skillfully.
What’s true for my human experience, for this unique bundle of nature, nurture and life experiences called “Keely,” is that a sense of urgency short circuits my system.
It pulls me out of the gentle, relaxed, calm way of living that I prefer.
It makes me feel rushed and scattered, pressured and icky.
And I don’t want that.
Yesterday, I closed out a shamanic session by asking my client if she had ever traveled to South or Central America. “Frequently,” I told her, “Americans and Europeans feel intensely irritated by what Costa Ricans call ‘La Hora Tica,’ the less time- and punctuality-oriented way of living that is common in Latin American countries.”
“A German who plans to meet an Ecuadorian at 11:00 AM might be aggravated when the Ecuadorian shows up at 11:45 without offering an apology or excuse. In their culture, there’s no need for an apology or excuse. People just show up to things later. It’s normal.”
Then, linked to her session, I offered a suggestion. “In our culture,” I said, “We’re raised to believe, ‘Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today,’ but in my shamanic training, I learned about the principle of mañana.’ It’s a concept that could be helpful in your life.”
“Mañana” is part of the shamanic principle of non-doing. Rather than pushing and battling, we allow things to unfold and trust in the timing of the Universe. We don’t rush to do today what will take care of itself tomorrow.
Does that mean being lazy? Doing things like leaving dirty dishes in the sink? No. If dirty dishes are going to attract bugs or pests, you take care of them in a timely manner (assuming you don’t want to live in a house filled with bugs and pests – if you don’t care, then leave them there).
But those 17 tasks that you feel like NEED to be done today or the world will end?
Mañana is about asking yourself if that’s true.
If you don’t do every single one, will the world end? Will your life fall apart? Will you die?
For me, the answer is usually no. And, since I believe in blending ancient wisdom with modern know-how, I’ll also point to the Eisenhower Matrix (which has come on my radar seven times in the last three days).
It’s helpful to understand what’s important and what’s not important. What’s urgent and what’s not urgent. Then to have ways to handle tasks in each quadrant.
I try to live in Quadrant 2, working on things that are important and not urgent. It helps that I have an intensely spacious life, so it’s easier for me to do that than it is for other people.
But mañana also means that I cherish Quadrant 4. I love binning things. Saying, “You know, actually this isn’t urgent OR important. Why rush to do today what doesn’t need to be done at all?”
Like with most things, I have no idea if I’m right. But I do know that living this way gives me peace so I’m sharing it. I’m also offering it up as a glimpse into my inner world for the loved ones I mentioned. I don’t want to live in friction and I think the path back to harmony is by doing things like this. By saying, “This is what’s true in my inner world,” and then asking, “What’s true in yours?”
We’ll see where it takes us. Sending love and my hopes for a non-rushed day,
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