A Very Good Day
Can I say that? I wondered in the millisecond before I answered. Is this a thing I can pull off? Or will it be super awkward?
“How are you doing, Keely?” the group had asked.
I shrugged off the internal debate and answered with the truth.
“Great!” I responded, a giant grin spreading across my face. “I just contemplated sending my best friend from college a text that said, ‘You know, I’m having one of those days where I feel like I’m such a gift to the world.’”
I’m having one of those days where I feel like I’m such a gift to the world.
How humble of me, right?
Fortunately, the group was filled with people I have known for years and they responded with laughter. No awkwardness. No judgment. No “check out the ego on this one, huh?”
Just joy. Pure, simple joy. The same joy that I had in my heart when I responded.
Because, even though it’s not a humble thing to say, I really was having the kind of day where I felt like I was a gift to the world.
And, when you feel like you’re a gift to the world, it’s hard not to be filled with joy.
Now, as far as I can tell, I’m not an egomaniac or a narcissist or an icky braggy brat. I’m just a gal who has had a few lucky breaks.
One such lucky break is that I had a disaster of a youth. I was a full-fledged, daily-blackout, non-functional alcoholic who landed in rehab at the ripe ol’ age of 22 then I spent much of my twenties figuring out how to deal with the chronic depression that drove my catastrophic drinking.
Even luckier, the things I tried worked. So now, with another 50, 60, 70, 80, 90+ years of life on Earth ahead of me, I float in a cloud of awe and gratitude each day that I wake up with energy and in good spirits. I didn’t use to wake up feeling that way and I remember how horrible that was.
Then there’s the current “how did I get so lucky?” chapter of my life. I’m a 33-year-old who has complete autonomy over her days. My last job left me so burned out that it made sense to take a breather–then the Universe conspired to give me an extended sabbatical, thanks to a move to China. I currently have all the vibrant energy of someone in their peak career-building days and the opportunity to use that energy in non-traditional ways.
And, finally, a big lucky break: I’m married to a man who fully encourages me to pursue my dreams. “You want to spend how much to train in shamanic energy medicine? Okay, let’s make it happen.” “Now you think you should write a book about depression? How can I support you in making that happen, my beautiful bride?”
When you put all of these together, you end up with the kind of day I had Monday. I woke up and spent my entire day in strengths-based service.
I got to use my time, energy and effort to contribute in the exact way I wanted to. In a way that filled my cup, that gave me energy instead of depleting me (the burnout came when I spent years in weakness-based service, doing things that helped make the world a better place, but at a high personal cost).
And what did that look like? I woke up early to have some time to myself before the rest of the world opened its eyes. I journaled about my hopes and dreams, did my mystical practices, and mapped out aligned actions to take. I spent some time with the hubbalicious before offering a shamanic session. Then I passed a few gleeful hours getting my thoughts about depression out of my head and on paper, mapping out a workshop I want to offer, and contributing to a wellness group I started in my community. I ate healthy foods, drank lots of water, took a Chinese lesson, then went to Pilates and moved my body in a way that felt good. Afterward, I went for a walk, did more with the wellness community, helped a friend market her business, and connected with the hubs before my meeting.
So, when my peers asked how I was, I could respond with joy, saying that I’d had the kind of day where I felt like a gift to the world. Because I had used my time and talent to both work towards my personal goals and try to contribute in a meaningful way.
Was I doing it from a place of privilege? Of course. How many people have partners who encourage them to chase their dreams and get to take an extended sabbatical?!
But I’m not writing this because I want to yawn on and on about my good luck (you know, like the rehab and crippling depression). That’s all context setting.
The real reason I’m writing this whole is because of what happened after I made my cheeky comment. In my meeting, before we moved on, I reassured the group. “Don’t worry,” I said. “My ego isn’t actually that big.”
And I got a gem of a response. My mentor, who was on the call, said, “Keely, I didn’t think for a second about your ego. I was inspired. I want to experience the kind of day where I feel like a gift to the world.”
I think all of us do.
So, as someone who has had a zillion stars align to have the chance to feel that way, here’s my theory about how to find that magic feeling:
Invest in healing if you need it. Prioritize inner peace. Do whatever it takes to feel the way you want to feel. Every wise person I’ve ever encountered says the same thing: your state of being has to come first. Focus on who you want to be and how you want to feel before you worry about what to do.
Work towards understanding your strengths (things that energize you when you do them).
Pick the corner of the world that matters to you. Don’t make the twenty-first-century Western-mindset mistake of thinking that you have to find that corner through your job (Google “workism” and read The Atlantic article to learn more). Jobs are to pay the bills. Hobbies are to make you glad you’re alive. Sometimes jobs and hobbies overlap, but frequently they don’t.
If you want to get woo-woo like I do, look at your astrological chart for clues about where to focus your attention.
Then take the abundant energy you have from your healing + state of being practices, look for areas of opportunity in the corner of the world that matters to you and use your strengths to contribute in a meaningful way with other people you want to be around (our relationships are responsible for 70% of our life satisfaction).
Then learn as you go. Pay attention to what feels good. Do more of it. Notice what feels bad. Do less of it.
I’m sure there’s someone out there who has written all of this up in less of a “here’s a story about me and my life,” way, but I don’t know how to write that way. I tell personal stories because it’s fun for me (do more of what makes you feel good, after all) and because a wise woman assured me that, “the more personal you get, the more universal it becomes.”
Another wise woman (a shaman) gave me homework straight from the Universe: use this spacious chapter of my life to share what I’ve learned. So, here’s a tale about a day I had with some lessons I learned. Maybe there’s something useful in it. Maybe there’s not.
I can assure you that, whether these musings are useful to anyone else or not, they help me have the kind of days I want to have.
And, because all those people who say that service is the key to a satisfying life seem to be right, I have an offer: if anyone wants help mapping out their personal well-being formula to try to have days where you float in a cloud of gratitude and awe, reach out to me. I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve and a beautifully spacious life (thank you Universe, hubby, hubby’s company and whoever/whatever else helped make this beautiful chapter of my life a reality).
